Singur
"Nu pot sa ma desprat de ea pana nu gasesc pe altcineva." imi spune un prieten. La inceput m-am enervat pe animal pentru ca isi inseala prietena, dar curand mi-am dat seama ca desi el este cel care inseala, e de asemenea si cel care sufera. Cu totii incercam sa evitam singuratetea, suferinta, uneori o ducem la extrem incat ne orbeste calea spre a vedea fericirea.
Uneori simt ca sunt trista, ca sunt singura, ca vreau sa plang. Atunci imbratisez tristetea si plang. Odata cu lacrimile se scurge si singuratatea. Apoi simt cum un val de fericire si optimism ma cuprinde. Accept faptul ca singuratatea face parte din viata. Era o vreme cand incercam sa maschez tristetea, sa o alung fugind la cineva cunoscut care sa imi atraga atentia pentru o perioada de timp in care sa uit ca sunt singura.
Cand m-am mutat in Germania am lasat viata sociala in Romania si am fost singura intr-o tara straina. Nu mai era nimeni la cine sa fug. Imi plangeam de mila, eram invidioasa pe prietenii mei ramasi acasa, ma intrebam de ce mi se intampla mie asta. Nu credeam vreodata ca a fi singur poate fi un lucru bun.
Ce am invatat insa din timpul petrecut cu mine este ca fericirea nu trebuie sa depinda de cineva, la un moment dat ajungi sa fii terifiat de ideea de a ramane singur, traind toata viata in stres si anxietate. Devii dependent de prezenta altor persoane in viata ta. Nu esti niciodata cu adevarat trist sau cu adevarat fericit. Nu traiesti cu adevarat, ci esti mereu intr-o stare care poate fi descrisa ca o combinatie dintre normalitate cu plictiseala si dezinteres. Nu petreci timp cu tine cunoscandu-ti trairile, sentimentele. Nu iti este dor, ca apoi sa te bucuri sa il vezi. Trairile nu variaza, este mereu aceasi traire cu care te-ai obisnuit si cu care te complaci.
Am ajuns in situatia in care nu am nevoie de nimeni ca sa merg in club, concediu, la plimbare, in oras, cinema etc. Ba chiar din contra imi place sa petrec timp cu mine insami si cu gandurile mele bolnave pe care doar eu le inteleg....sau nu le inteleg. Am invatat sa ma iubesc, am descoperit noi hobby-uri, am cunoscut oameni noi, mi-am pus gandurile pe hartie, am meditat, am invatat sa selectez oamenii din viata mea. Si cel mai important am invatat sa imi fie dor si sa ma bucur cand sunt cu persoanele dragi, pretuiesc timpul petrecut cu ei pentru ca stiu ca va trebui sa plec din nou si nu ii voi mai vedea.
Wise thoughts
1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short – enjoy it..
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. Save for retirement starting with your first pay check.
9. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
10. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
11. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
12. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
13. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it...
14 Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
15. Get rid of anything that isn't useful. Clutter weighs you down in many ways.
16. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
17. It's never too late to be happy. But it’s all up to you and no one else.
18. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
19. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
20. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
21. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
22. The most important sex organ is the brain.
23. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
24. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'
25. Always choose life.
26. Forgive but don’t forget.
27. What other people think of you is none of your business.
28. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
29. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
30. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does..
31. Believe in miracles.
32. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
33. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
34. Your children get only one childhood.
35. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
36. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
37. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
38. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already have not what you need.
39. The best is yet to come...
40. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
41. Yield.
42. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short – enjoy it..
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. Save for retirement starting with your first pay check.
9. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
10. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
11. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
12. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
13. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it...
14 Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
15. Get rid of anything that isn't useful. Clutter weighs you down in many ways.
16. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
17. It's never too late to be happy. But it’s all up to you and no one else.
18. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
19. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
20. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
21. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
22. The most important sex organ is the brain.
23. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
24. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'
25. Always choose life.
26. Forgive but don’t forget.
27. What other people think of you is none of your business.
28. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
29. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
30. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does..
31. Believe in miracles.
32. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
33. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
34. Your children get only one childhood.
35. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
36. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
37. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
38. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already have not what you need.
39. The best is yet to come...
40. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
41. Yield.
42. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."
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